Reblog if you're a potato.
carel3ss: the notes
Mom: Watch my food.
Me: You better not move:
Me: Or I'll kill you.
Me: With my mouth.
vondell-swain: i’m sick of popular music, popular music is all a bunch of shit, that’s why i love the beatles, the literal best-selling band in the history of music
me everyday at any time to everyone ever: I'm so tired
smutfic: i think the reason i have no friends is that i don’t smize hard enough
Josh years from now
Josh's son: Dad I have something to tell you..
Josh's son: So I was at school and well, I have a crush on someone...
Josh: Wait... do you mean like another boy?
Josh's son: Well, I-
Josh: Because son, it's perfectly okay.
Josh's son: But dad-
Josh: In fact, it's more than okay.
Josh's son: You're not listening to-
Josh: And I love you regardless son, no matter who you love.
Josh's son: Can I just-
Josh: But I hope it's your best friend, because I totally ship you two.
Josh's son: Wait what
Josh: Yeah, you two would be great together. I mean he sleeps over at the house all the time, might as well have sex with him, am I right?
Josh's son: What the hell? Dad, I'm straight.
Josh: Well I guess that's okay too.
littlehinduthings: hush girl shut your lips do the helen keller and helplessly fall down the stairs in the middle of the night
what if someone tried to rob a nightclub and he ran in and screamed “everyone put your hands up” and everyone was like “yeah dude” and kept dancing
Eat when you're hungry. Sleep when you're tired.
But really though I’m fucking exhausted. Good night, everyone. Stay beautiful. <3
likethepoet asked: Hi babe p.s. suck my dick I'm a shaaarrrkkkkk
blameitonmyadd: diannaanonsky: likespancakes: Meanwhile, in Canada holy fucking shit Guys, this is what Poutine is…didn’t you know?
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